While it’s said that it’s difficult to raise a family in any generation, it’s in the generation in which parents live that it’s the most difficult generation to raise children and to live as a holy family.
What’s particularly interesting to me about this generation’s Catholic parents is how, when difficulties arise and take hold with their children, the first place they oftentimes turn is to psychologists and psychiatrists. Desperate to find assistance to figure out how to solve the effects of sin as they arise in their families, these parents turn to this world’s “experts” who offer therapy that’s been designed and tested to assist parents and their children to learn about the source (or what may be multiple sources) of those difficulties and then to adopt novel approaches regarding how to think and behave toward those difficulties. Of course, the good intention is that “doing this” will resolve the issue causing the difficulties that are fraying and sometimes to the breaking point what could be loving relationships.
In this generation, this is how “sleepy” Catholic parents respond to the difficulties arising and taking hold with their children. Having pushed God to the peripheries of their lives, these parents “do this” as this generation’s culture defines it. It doesn’t even occur to these “sleepy” Catholic parents that only by bringing God back into the center of their lives that it’s possible for them to raise who are filled with grace, wisdom, and stature before God and humanity and form a holy family. They “do this,” yes; but they forgot the participial phrase “in memory of me,” as Jesus taught.
“WOKE” Catholic parents aren’t immune to experience difficulties in raising their children because forming a “holy family” doesn’t mean being a “perfect family.” After all, all parents and their children live in today’s culture and its values are ubiquitous. In contrast to “sleepy” Catholic parents, however, “WOKE” Catholic parents turn to the Holy Family before those inevitable difficulties arise, seeking guidance to exercise their maternal and paternal ministries in raising the children God has entrusted to their pastoral care. “WOKE” Catholic moms turn to Mary and “WOKE” Catholic dads turn to St. Joseph seeking guidance so they can build a solid foundation that will assist in fending off those inevitable difficulties that are caused by human frailty and sin.
Animated by God’s presence dwelling in them and entrusting their children to God, “WOKE” Catholic moms know that “words speak louder than actions”—so they “talk the talk.” These moms seek guidance from Mary, “Our Mother of Good Counsel,” concerning the words they should speak to their children because their pastoral goal, as was Mary’s, is to guide the children God has entrusted to their maternal ministry to increased spiritual, moral, and religious maturity.
These moms are heedful of the fact that Mary had her share of difficulties in raising her son, Jesus. Recall how, as a teenager, Jesus stayed behind in at the Temple in Jerusalem. When Mary and Joseph realizes Jesus’ absence from the caravan, Mary and Joseph returned in haste to Jerusalem frantically searching for their son. When they finally did find Jesus in the Temple teaching the learned rabbis, Mary asked what any mom in her situation would likely ask. But, Jesus didn’t provide any reassurance whatsoever, asking Mary what could be interpreted as a rather snarky question. But rather than flying off the handle, we are told that Mary pondered what Jesus said, trusting in God’s promise made through Gabriel the Archangel at the Annunciation.
This is how “WOKE” Catholic moms protect their cherished gift of God: They listen and when they speak, those words are stronger than any action...cutting through the heart like a hot knife through butter. Any of us who have experienced those words know their power.
But that’s not all “WOKE” Catholic moms do.
They also continuously remind their children that God has created each of them for a divine purpose and fulfilling this purpose is the only way they’ll experience joy in their lives. When their children test the limits and protest that holiness of life—sanctification through spiritual, moral, and religious discipline—doesn’t make them happy, “WOKE” Catholic moms just won’t give up. Instead, they continuously reassure, encourage, and offer wisdom…just as their moms did when these moms said and did unexpected and unconventional things when they were teenagers. If Plan A doesn’t work, “WOKE” Catholic moms don’t react and move to Plan B but seek instead to understand how God’s hand is at work in all the messiness.
More than that, when their children suffer due to their meandering and wandering around in the wasteland of the culture in which they all live, the hearts of “WOKE” Catholic moms are moved by pity, while also understanding that suffering assists in building character. Imitating Mary and trusting in God, “WOKE” Catholic moms are patient and don’t forget to lift their children’s suffering up in words...of heartfelt prayer for their safety and return to grace, wisdom, and stature before God and humanity.
“WOKE” Catholic moms “do [all of this] this…in memory of me,” as Jesus taught. All the while, they remain mindful that their words speak louder than actions—so they “talk the talk,” as Mary did with Jesus.
For their part, “WOKE” Catholic dads are also animated by God’s presence dwelling in them and entrust their children to God. But, they do so in a way that complements their wives’ words. “WOKE” Catholic dads understand that “actions speak louder than words”—so, they “walk the talk.” However, they first turn to St. Joseph for guidance concerning how they should act because their goal is to guide the children God has entrusted to their paternal ministry in the direction of greater spiritual, moral, and religious maturity.
As a dad, St. Joseph invited God into the center of his life by accepting his personal vocation which required being for Jesus a beloved father, an obedient father; an accepting father; a creatively courageous father; a working father, and a “father in the shadows.”
Loving Jesus as if he was his only son, St. Joseph modeled for Jesus how to love and become beloved: Being attentive, compassionate, and wise. Looking to St. Joseph, “WOKE” Catholic dads prioritize being attentive, compassionate, and wise as they support their children in their endeavors.
St. Joseph was a man of unwavering obedience to God’s will. Making God the center of his life, St. Joseph accepted his unique call and adapted as events unfolded in many predictable and sometimes unpredictable ways. “WOKE” Catholic dads turn to St. Joseph as the journey of fatherhood takes its many unexpected twists, turns, detours, and sometimes, dead ends as their children meander and wander around in the wasteland of the culture in which they live. Making God the center of their lives and accepting God’s plan for them, “WOKE” Catholic dads model for their children the importance of faith and trust in God as events unfold in their lives, seizing the moment to act righteously.
St. Joseph’s confronted many unexpected situations which included, among others, to be a father to a child who wasn’t his and to protect his family from dangers that unexpectedly arose. Yet in all these challenges, St. Joseph brought God into the center of his life and responded courageously and with creativity. In this way, St. Joseph provides “WOKE” Catholic dads an example of how to act when they confront adversity and how to walk through it, modeling for their children how to be gracious, kind, and just when theyconfront adversity.
St. Joseph was a “working class” husband and father who provided for his family’s well-being. As a carpenter—which meant his earnings were the equivalent of an upper-middle class worker today—St. Joseph not only worked with his hands but also was a craftsman who did the best he could with the talents God bestowed upon him. With Jesus at his side, St. Joseph modeled how the actions of “WOKE” Catholic dads instruct their children about the importance of solid work ethic as well as the importance of being ethical in one’s dealings with others and how living and working this way expresses care for and commitment to others.
In his relationship with Jesus, St. Joseph was the earthly “shadow” of Jesus’ heavenly Father, watching over Jesus and protecting him, not allowing Jesus to meander and wander away from the path leading toward spiritual, moral, and religious maturity. “WOKE” Catholic fathers imitate this “shadow figure” across the years and decades of the lives of their children—by shadowing them. This action makes “WOKE” Catholic dads available to their children spiritually, physically, and emotionally, always present yet not intruding into their affairs by leading them from behind in the overall effort of guiding through both good and tough times yet always directing their children to follow the path dictated by their personal vocations.
Like “WOKE” Catholic moms, “WOKE” Catholic dads “do [all of this] this…in memory of me,” as Jesus taught, all the while remaining mindful that their actions speak louder than words. They “walk the talk,” as St. Joseph did. They keep in mind that primary objective of their maternal and paternal ministry is to raise their children to grow in grace, wisdom, and stature before God and humanity.
This was God’s plan for marriage and family in and from the beginning: Moms and Dads complement each other . Through their maternal and paternal ministry, moms “talk the talk” and dads “walk the talk” with the children God has entrusted to them about growing spiritually, morally, and religiously by bringing God into the center of each day, imperfectly at times, yes, because they’re human not divine, yet always striving to build holy families whose members “do this, in memory of me,” as Jesus taught. In this way, God becomes incarnate in “WOKE” Catholic holy families.
That represents the challenge from Scripture for every Catholic mom and dad on this feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph: To invite God back into the center of your lives.
To this end, awake each morning this week from being “sleepy” Catholic parents by making a memento mori—recall “I will die”—to steel your power of will to use each day this week to be mindful:
- For moms: Be mindful that your words speak louder than your actions. Don’t fear to “talk the talk” to your children.
- For dads: Be mindful that your actions speak louder than your words. “Walk the talk” for your children.
Then, “do this” each day—be a “WOKE” Catholic mom or dad, as Jesus taught, by “doing this…in memory of me.
Only in this way will you, as St. Paul wrote to the Colossians, raise the children God has entrusted to your maternal and paternal ministry to “put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with [your children] and forgiving [them].”
And for those of us whose parents are struggling mightily to be “WOKE” Catholic moms and dad who are raising us to become spiritually, morally, and religiously mature as is their divine obligation, your challenge is to awake each morning this week from being “sleepy” Catholic children by making a memento mori—recall “I will die”—to steel your power of will to use each day this week to be mindful of how very difficult it is to raise children in any generation who live as a holy family. Then, focus upon one way you will speak to your mom and one way you will act toward your dad each day and “do this”—to be a “WOKE” Catholic child, as Jesus taught, “in memory of me.”
It’s called “prayer in action.” Only in this way will you, as St. Paul wrote to the Colossians, love your mom and dad and “put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with [your children] and forgiving [them].”
As all our parents and their children make the practice of bringing God back into the center from the peripheries of their days will our parish’s moms and dads and all their children will be “WOKE” Catholics...advancing in grace, wisdom, and stature favor before God and humanity by witnessing to all those who are meandering and wandering around in the wasteland of this generation’s culture the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
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